I don't really fit our local poly group either. There are a lot of people in it that I just don't get. They are great and all, but their idea of poly doesn't seem to be similar to mine and/or their position in it is different. I still go though. I have learned a lot about what I don't want from them and care about the journey they are on. I have invested in my community now.
I think it's important to create what you need in life. I started a group for women so that I could talk more about my relationship... and invited the women from our local group. It is going strong with up to 30 women each month. I had a need for community events, so I hosted them.... bowling, karaoke, dancing, whatever. If I want to do it I figure others will and I have been right. I encourage anyone to do this. You don't have to make a fuss. Just send an invite out for time and place and show up. It happens on it's own.
Why not start your own group. Invite people to meet at a coffee shop or something and see how it goes. Just a meet and greet kind of thing.... its a great way to make friends or better yet, to get dates
sometimes friends become dates.... never know!