View Single Post
Old 03-03-2011, 07:51 PM
Penny's Avatar
Penny Penny is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 143

My husband has had no luck finding someone, at least not a keeper. He had a few dates with a couple of other women. Finding someone takes time and energy, and he says he finds that he'd often rather spend that time with me. Still, he intends to keep looking, but is taking a laid back approach to it now.

I really do hope he finds someone he can establish a relationship with. This compersion thing (have you read up on that yet?) is very real and I have found it to be far more powerful than transient jealous twinges. I'm going to help him revamp his OKCupid profile soon. I want him to be able to rejoice in NRE, and to experience the sort of happiness that his love and support has enabled me to experience with my boyfriend.

I did feel some twinges of jealousy, particularly when he was dating a gorgeous red-headed model, but I find that if I break my jealousy apart into its components and deal with them one at a time, it is surprisingly easy to overcome.

The most important thing for me has been being able to say, "Hey, honey, I'm feeling insecure" or something like that, and then to discuss point by point what is bothering me. I am good at figuring out what I need in order to get in a good head space, and I am not afraid to ask for it. My partners have both expressed a deep appreciation of this quality as I don't leave them guessing.

I work from the assumption that they want my happiness, just as much as I want them to be happy. My relationships are sturdy, strong, and built on trust and mutual respect.

Thumper has learned to ask for what he needs as well. He's had a few twinges of jealousy, but we have worked through them with relative ease.

IMO, the trick is to never suffer in silence or to just put up with something for the sake of another's happiness. Yes, you might have to deal with uncomfortable or distressing emotions, but it is important to do so openly and to never let anything fester.

Thumper, T-Rex and I are still going strong. I am delighted by my loves, who spoil me to pieces and treat me like a queen. I spoil them back as much as I am able. The guys have become good friends and we are planning a couple of trips as a family. We hang out as a threesome several times a week. It's pretty cool.
Hinge of a V relationship with my husband (Thumper) and boyfriend (T-Rex). Also, mother of a 6 y/o girl by my husband.

My poly story begins here. Now with new blogging action!
Reply With Quote