View Single Post
Old 03-03-2011, 05:02 PM
disillusioned disillusioned is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 40


Thanks for your post. I agree about setting an example and not trying to convert.. but... and it's a big but:

You say "Poly is not the one true way of relationships...monogamy is not the one true way of relationships"

Yes, I agree. But there is a deeper issue here. Of course not everybody is the same - 1 out of 1000 people will be usexual and 1 out of 1000 people will be Hypersexual (clinically) (I'm just throwing numbers but the point is, it is not common) but in the end of the day, most of us are born in a very wide middle ground of "normality" - in terms of our hormones, mental capacity, how our brain works, etc. So we are born (more or less) equal.

Then comes society, culture, our family, religion, etc etc, and try to mold us into certain ways - in the case of our discussion - into a monogamous lifestyle + breed into us the concept of romantic love which we were all fed into believing from infancy . (The Lion King and any other Disney movie, any children book, the bible, etc etc etc I don't think you can argue about this)

Then you grow up and you start to notice all kind of things. For example -

At the age of 12 - "Wow I like to touch myself. I like to touch myself 5 times a day!"

At the age of 13 - "Wow, all my friends are the same too. Left alone without nothing else to do, we will touch ourselves until orgasm 4 to 8 times a day"

At the age of 17 - "Wow, girls think about sex just like boys do"

Age 18 - "hey... girls like sex MORE than boys do!" (if they are healthy)

Age 20 - "Hey, I just read the statistics about marriages, turns out that 65% of people divorce."

Age 21 - "I have this AMAZING girlfriend who is the manifestation of all my fantasies, but I keep looking at other girls!"

Age 22 - "Me and my amazing girlfriend have sex only once a week... hey, whats going on here?!"

These are the prevailing facts!

Etc etc etc... then you start to put the dots together... Look, I can't put down everything here, but if you know about sperm wars, if you look at divorce rates, if you consider that most married couples, after 3 years, will sleep with each other ONCE A MONTH if not LESS, then suddenly EVERYTHING collapses around you. You realize that everything you've been brought up to believe is wrong.

It is not wrong "for me". It is just plane wrong - with our biology, with our mental capacity, with our DNA, with everything. The evidence is so overwhelming, and I have talked to DOZENS of people about this, from all backgrounds and all ages and all sexes / orientations, and every single person I spoke with could identify with everything I was saying.

Now... if someone lives against his own biology, whats the result? Our all internal system gets screwed up, hormonally. We become sick, frustrated. We take it out on our partners... unhappy couples, broken homes, frustrations, sexual dysfunction, divorces, single parents.

Am I taking this too far? I don't think so. Monogamy is the basis of our society. It is EVERYTHING. It is the most basic notion that governs our lives / society.

So.... yea, I'm enthusiastic. I think this is huge. It is the equivalent to "the death of god" (Nietzsche). It is equivalent to the discovery of the steam engine. Left to our biology and stripped from the control of religion, our entire society should have been organized RADICALLY differently.

(Yes, I know, they tried it in the 60s...)

Anyway... my two cents.

Last edited by disillusioned; 03-03-2011 at 05:05 PM.
Reply With Quote