Originally Posted by redevil
In finding poly, Lobster has said many times that he feels more connected to the acceptance and open honesty that comes with the life then he ever did with the religion he was raised in. It provides for a much better environment.
I'm not surprised at all. I wish I had something useful to offer here...my head is spinning from a headline item I just read. I've never been a religious person, or raised in that kind of environment...and as I got older I became very appreciative for it. I saw so many friends stuck in the kind of environments that you describe Lobster being in...forced into some box of behavior, or worse for me was the box of opinion...what was ok to think, and what wasn't.
I'll tell the full story sometime maybe, but suffice to say that as someone who cherished being able to think for myself, and make my on decisions about things, the prospect of being forced into any little box of thought or behavior by an old book, dogma, guilt, or any of the above was pretty much a personal form of hell.
Regardless of how much church groups seemed to preach universal acceptance and love for your fellow man and such, my experience was that the practice was always different than the message. People are people, and church groups no different than any other mob...just with baked goods. Fit in and have some pie, or get out and have some heathen donuts from Timmy's on your way to hell.
Fortunately for me, I like Timmy's donuts...and I don't care about social acceptance from groups like that. It serves no purpose for me, satisfies no need or desire, and I can get my own baking from people I like and do get along with, and who accept me on my terms just as I accept them on theirs.
I make a distinction between religion, and the Church. One is a belief system, and the other if a group of people spouting dogma. I have little trouble with religion. It's the organization, the groups of people, the mobs that leave me shaking my head. And I have zero hesitation in telling them to go pound sand whenever they want to stick their fingers in my pie.... figuratively speaking.
I don't know if that will be a palatable option for Lobster, but it is an option. It's possible to take the good from a religion, and keep it in one's life...and live in a moral fashion. It may not be socially acceptable to the church...but the church is just people, as fallible and selfish as the rest of us. Social needs can be found elsewhere...breaking with the church is certainly not unheard of, and sometimes part of growing up is also breaking with our parents way of living. It doesn't sound like his parents will make that part easy...and that's a decision only he can make.
Hmm, other thoughts coming to mind too, but I've rambled enough. May come back to this later.