Originally Posted by redpepper
Oooookay Derby, what are you not saying? Hmmmmm
All kinds of dirty nasty things
There's nothing specific on my mind at the moment, it's more just a pattern I've noticed in myself and others. For example my friend back in Calgary who cheated on her husband and told me about it. Even though I was upset and even though I should have said something about it all I've ever done is hinted and bitched about it behiend her back. I should have told her right from the get go that telling me something like that isn't ok and it put me in the position of having to betray one of my friends, either her by telling him what was up or him by keeping my mouth closed. If I had said something at the time chances are there would have been some kind of resolution but instead I still feel angry when I see their posts on facebook to each other. SInce I have the need to be "nice" I haven't been able to say anything to her directly because I'm worried about rocking the boat and losing the friendship. Although ironically harbouring this resentment is far more likely to lead to me wanting to end the friendship.
There are other examples that I've seen of women not being willing to confront things directly. It's just one more of those social programming things to fight against.