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Old 03-02-2011, 09:38 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by catspaw00tng View Post
. . . my SO's wife left him last week . . . It's been a nightmare.

Now he's grieving, and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to be supportive and be emotionally "there" for him, but I'm back home, 3000 miles away. All I can do is be a voice on the phone, or words on a screen. I don't know what I'm supposed to do... if she had died, I'd know. If he were just a friend, I'd know. But in this case I'm completely lost.

Over the last couple of days he's been really erratic; one minute he's calling, asking me for help and saying he loves me and is grateful for my support, and the next minute he's telling me I'm needy and smothering and he can't "take care of" me.
It took me three months to pick myself up off the floor and stop sobbing after my husband announced he wanted a divorce and moved out soon after. It is a heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching, and nerve-racking thing to be married and have it come to an end, especially if it's sudden and against your wishes. There's really nothing you can do but offer to listen if you can. Just be as compassionate and patient as you can, and know that he will be erratic. Let him fall apart a little -- men have a harder time doing that usually, so it might be good for him. He shouldn't expect to bounce back quickly and you shouldn't take anything he says as being written in stone. I'm still a bit of a mess eight months later. I couldn't be there for anyone else for a long time, and I am still feeling fragile and broken a lot of the time. It's a horrible, horrible situation to be in and it takes time. All my divorced friends told me that and now I've been seeing it is true.
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-02-2011 at 09:42 PM.
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