Originally Posted by Idlovetwo
He seems to think this is something I choose
to do, and that I could just be mono if I had more "willpower". Eeek
I don't blame him for thinking like that, it's just the way we all have been raised. But it's like thinking a gay person could become straight if they had more "willpower". Or, viceversa!?!
I think the comparison is right to the point. People used to be treated for mental disturbance if they didn't graduate from childhood diffuse bi/omnisexual potential to 'healthy' adult genital heterosexuality. Women who couldn't orgasm via vaginal stimulation alone were treated for frigidism. Today, both 'practicing homosexuals' and 'practicing polys', people who work in the sex industry, pretty much all people who fail to live up to the healthy adult genital monogamous heterosexuality model are threatened with losing the custody of their children if they don't change.
Just like women were told they could orgasm if they just loved their husbands enough, and gay people were told they could become heterosexuals if they just wanted it hard enough, people who discover they are polyamorous are told they lack the willpower, self-discipline and love for their partners all normal, monogamous people have. Of course, the only way to upkeep this ideal of monogamy being the only responsible relationship style is if you conveniently choose to ignore the rampant cheating and resulting serial monogamy, it's impact on people's mental health, children's well-being etc. All ideologies have their victims.
Rant over, thanks. Feel much better now.