Thanks for the thoughts. When he and I had alone time on Friday, I told him much of these thoughts. Well, he didn't much care for my chocolate analogy, so who knows if it will have any impact on him. We fooled around... but instead of sex, I decided to, uhm... go down on him. *blush*
Saturday night, SHE wanted sex. The two of them had done something to annoy me earlier, and I was very proud of how I handled it... but because of that, I wasn't really feeling into the idea of sex. He didn't want it anyway, but she did, and actually we probably would've gone downstairs and fooled around, except I really just wasn't there.
She and I had alone time yesterday, so we wound up having sex yesterday, anyway... but that was the first time she's wanted sex at night where he hasn't. It sort of bummed me out to turn her down - and it definitely shocked her. But I really just wasn't in the right head space, and I decided, ya know what? I am just not gonna force it. I've done that before, and it's never hard for my to physically get there, but if I'm feeling messed up emotionally, it's not always a good place to me to go anyway.
Sooo... we'll see what transpires. I'm a realist, and I can't change either of them, so I can only change my reactions to things that they do or say. This is all so new for us... and especially for me and him, because she's always known she was poly and has been part of a triad before (with people who had very unhealthy marriages, sadly).