Originally Posted by River
Being whole doesn't mean that we can't add to that wholeness with new insights, experiences, bonds of love, etc.... We're whole to the extent that we approach life without a sense of basic lack clouding our experience. When we live with a basic Yes! attitude toward life -- even though life has its pains and losses. We have to say Yes! to it all. And that doesn't mean we can't also want to change things. It's just another way of being in relation to this wish to change things. We can say a hearty Yes! to our lives and still wish to change things in ourselves and in the world.
To me, a "soul mate" is just what you described; someone who teaches you soul to progress, be that through love or pain or whatever. I don't believe in predestination, so not someone that you are "meant" to meet, but I do believein reincarnation, so someone who influences you to change either this life or your next.