Sage ... thank you for the reply
Interesting that you have been on both sides of this... You truly have a unique prospective. Thank you for your honesty.
Not familiar with the expression "wear the hair shirt" sound negative though.
How did your Ex make matters worse? ....so I don't make similar mistakes.
Did you ever entertain the idea of using the time, energy and passion you divert to bf into your relationship with your husband if he would have been receptive to that?
Is Z the man you dated during your marriage?
Yes I agree it's not poly it's the secret or lies that have us jammed up.