Sex and accidental monogamy.
She's mono, his Main Lady for years, and I'm starting to think maybe Fella projects a pheromone that turns women into devoted monos--like some cult-leader superpower.
Let me first admit that I was once a proud and reckless slut. Love sex, love love, always been that way. But now that I've finally slept with the man I've longed for for a long minute now, after I took almost a year mulling over my involvement in this V, learning about polyamory, dating another man, crying over whiskey bottles, finding myself at home philosophically with it, after all things were clean and labeled,
put on the shelf
in their place
in my mind
My damn heart won't let my body follow suit. I just don't want it. Me. What the hell?
I flirt, I dance, I even date still. I carouse with the enthusiasm of youth and the endurance of the practiced party girl. Clinique in the bag to the club, just in case--you know my type, 23 and a happy slave to self indulgence.
Sunday I spent the night on the road and the day in the bed of a new man, a different man, a rough neck from the oil patch and a total burly gent. But no sex. I can't do it, I can't let another man touch me, not really. Why? Because my body straight up sings when my Fella brushes his fingers on it, sings like stars do, vibrating in the universal pentatonic. We’ve been together for millennia. Finally had sex about a month ago and I feel like I'll never recover. I've met my match.
All my secondaries (Like Beyonce's "Single Ladies,” you know?) I need y'all to let me know if falling into monogamy with a poly man has plagued you, if it was bothersome or no problem at all. While it works for many amazing folks, I personally don't feel comfortable with the mono-poly dynamic--but what if I don't have a choice? Looked around and can't find a comparable thread. If you know of one, I would be very grateful if you'd link me up cause I’m very confused.