"Freebie" is an awesome moving to watch on the sex issue. Mono and I watched it together and it really struck home about where I am at with Leo. One really doesn't know how one will react afterwards, as much as you can guess, it is HUGE... like MASSIVE... in terms of emotions and where one is at afterwards. It isn't just a one time thing, its everything. Just trying it a little is not possible. Just one time is not just a little thing.
For PN and I the sex part was always a huge leap into a relationship and we decided after some very painful experiences not to go there until EVERYTHING was just right. Us as a couple, everything on board as a partnership with our other, our metamour relationships... and still it was a leap from 0 t 100 in the space of a short period of time.
We take sex very seriously though in terms of it being a bonding and connecting experience that is shared and then remembered for life. Some don't view it that way, but after more painful experiences, we came to this realization.
Might I suggest Jen that you wait some more? I know its hard to do, but today was a good day for the two of you after a very rough weekend and just enjoying that might be an idea... maybe let things settle until Beo is saying "oh for the love of pete, do it already!" I personally have had better results with this method,,, as has PN...
Mono I slept with within a week and it made for a very rough ride... PN went away with his girlfriend and they didn't have sex! I was screaming for him to get it over with after months of being in pain over the thought... by the time he did it I was relieved! I had preciously been disgusted to the point of vomiting and not touching him for over a week with another woman and with this one I was full of joy (compersion) by the time they actually did it... I was pushing him out the door to do it again...
Worked much better for my jealous heart... I was completely through the jealousy by then.
Just a thought... have a look at Mohegan's blog (which way to turn)... she has written a lot about Karma and his girlfriend before they had sex... as has Derby. I think its in her old blog though... you might want to ask her how to find it.