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Old 03-01-2011, 06:20 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

K, big red flags for me here... good communication is number one on the poly list of what to have in a poly relationship for me,,, and most poly people. The thing is that people have different ideas of what that means and "think" they communicate well when they just don't.

I had a boyfriend once that said he communicated well. Even scolded others for not communicating well, and then when it came down to some hard stuff to talk about... he sucked! He just got angry and told me I was overly emotional and that I should suck it up. I left him... and my husband left his wife for the same reasons... they were not a good match for us and my gut told me WAY before that... I went through a lot of hardship when I should of listened to my gut.

Might I suggest that your gut is telling you something? This is too early and too fast to me... We took almost two years before moving my boyfriend in and he lives in the suite below! We waited until well after the NRE ended... which I agree takes a good year. And then talked about it. I think this is looking like disaster waiting to happen and maybe you should stay in the cramped apartment with your primary and be happy to visit. Is housing really that important? Can you wait until daily life takes over and the novelty wears off? I would suspect you will find that it is a better choice to live next door or down the street... sweet escape when the going gets rough... there seems to be some manipulation going on and I would hate to think that you have no where to go when the stress of that becomes too much and is all lumped in with who didn't do the dishes or take the garbage out.

There are some threads on this topic that might help. They are all listed under the tag "living together" you could do a tag search and find out what others have said and experienced. My blog also has some insight,,, start in the months of last summer into the fall when Mono moved in.
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