I merged your threads Mahogany and Mr. M. And yes, please do make yourself your own account Mr.M. It gets very confusing otherwise...(Mr.M works
). Besides, I think you need to sit down and be with us for awhile. There is a lot to read here, even if you decide not to write anymore. You don't seem to know the first thing about poly first off... First of all the language; your wife, you might consider calling a "primary" partner and your girlfriend, a "secondary." I won't go into details about all that, but if you look at the definitions thread in the stickies at the top of the "new to polyamory" main page, you will find a whole bunch of useful words to use in order to explain what is going on for you to us and each other. That way all of us to be on the same page. They are useful words for newbies, often, with time, people abandon some of there meaning for something that fits better for them... baby steps with all that though... first take a look at those who have gone before and realize that you are not alone and poly can and is achievable.
Might I suggest looking at these two threads first.
It seems that you have some stuff to sort out for us Mr.M if you will. There is a lot of confusion about the dynamic you have for me and perhaps others. If you have read the thread Mahogany has posted, is it possible to please take from it some ideas about what you might comment on to bring us up to speed about what is going on for you both?
Thank you for sharing something so raw with us here. I always find peoples ability to make themselves vulnerable to strangers incredibly honouring. Thanks for trusting and reaching out.
*hugs* to both of you.