I'm sorry, I've seen your thread but because it didn't strike me as having a polymono component and it was so long I haven't read it. I tried to get the gist of what's going on for you but even that's difficult from here.
Are your kids having difficulty with your polyamory?
My kids are not really kids at all I suppose, 26 and 19, but they still have issues with polyamory. My 26 year old is very christian and so has had some strong opinions but we are very close and so she is tying to understand. My 19 year old initially freaked out but is also coming around. Neither live with us so that makes things a bit easier.
Z's kids are younger and have only been introduced to his SO as a good friend.
The more I travel down the polyamorous path of my relationship the more I realise that it is a kind of micro for the macro that is our life. Everything in it highlights an aspect of our life that is either working well or not working well. With older kids it tends to show the level of mutual understanding, connection and respect we have with them in all areas of our lives.