Originally Posted by kreeativ
compassion,and enhancing yes all of that is fine but you are fooling yourself if you think its somebody elses responsibilty to make you happy.happiness only come from within,not from another,the but yes the other can be involved in enhancing that happiness .not creating it.
happiness in relationships comes from shared responsibility. For mutual commitment to happiness. This man did not hold his responsibility for that and continues not to, it seems.
We don't know his side. Anyone who comes on here and says they have kids that young and then says her husband cheated and now wants to keep his lover will not get much sympathy from me. Having lived through raising a child ti 7, I know that there was a huge responsibility to be in it together.
No he is not responsible for her happiness, but he is responsible for living through the adjuastment of raising small children until such time as they begin to go out in the world and time is freed up more. By then both will be used to child rasing and can add personal stuff like girlfriends. He took the liberty of going out and getting some freedom back before that time. That is not working together. That's beuing selfish. However, love comes along when it will. He just didn't handle it well and neither did he.
What I would wonder is how much you included him in child raising Mohogany. Sometimes mum thinks its best to do all of it themselves because its easier. That means dads don't figure out to do the work necessary or figure out their own way of doing things. It could of been he didn't rise to the occation though or was out working to pay for sais twins.
Practically speaking: This is why I suggest going out and leaving him with the kids. Maybe him and his girlfriend can look after the boys. After all, if she is to be his gf then she will need to pitch in. He has two very young kids. That means he has no time unless she is included in his life more. Other wise a date once a week seems all that is managable no? That way the OP can go out one night, one night with husband, and the rest together with family? Maybe two nights each for going out depending? Just thinking out loud. oh and she can babysit while you go out. There are some huge benefits here. All emotions aside that is.