Thanks redpepper. Wise advice
If something I've learned in this past thirty something years (lol) is that you may know how you feel now, but you don't know how you will feel next year, or next month. And, "follow the natural flow of my heart"... I like that sentence. It's what I've decided to do. It has taken me years, decades, but now I think there is no way back. So, only time will tell. Lovers can come and go, but my freedom to be myself is here to stay, hopefully.
Things look pretty screwed up today though... Ok, I still have my other love, even if he is a thousand miles away. That's some upside to poly...
No, just kidding, I'll do my best to save my relationship. Just because I love him, even if he doesn't believe me