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Old 02-27-2011, 09:50 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Hello Idlovetwo. Welcome.

In my experience it is best not to limit yourself with phrases like "I think I might be the poly-fi type." I have found that creates false hope that there might only be one more, or two more and that they will be forever and once you have them, you will stop and I can just be okay with them.

Chances are that you might date a few people over time, in a quest to find someone who fits your life... and even that might end or you might want to date again in addition to them... you just don't know and someone who is monogamous, it seems best to just leave it all up in the air for that reason. It is crazy making, but not as much as the result of changing it up as you go along. That is more crazy making as often mono people see it as "you changed what you said you were going to do," rather than seeing it as you just following the natural flow of your heart.

I wish I had some words to say that would make him feel better. Mono has covered most of what I would say. Really, all you can do is be as constant as possible and keep negotiating your boundaries as best as you can... both of you. It is likely there will be huge compromises that you will have to live with for a long time if you want this man in your life. It is your choice as to how much of your nature you can either put on hold indefinitely or for as long as you are with him. There is no answer to that other than your own.
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