Thread: Quad Family
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:08 PM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 305

Just got home from Asha and Sunday's house. I'm in a better place, but still unhappy. Asha is going on a trip for ten days starting next weekend, but Sunday made it clear that he intends to spend a lot of time alone while she's gone. Then, I found out that he's going skiing with someone else next Saturday. I think we're going to have to have a talk which he will find unhappy, but first I need to do some thinking. I just don't even know what to think.

He gave me a Valentine's Day present, and it was really cute. The card was wonderful, and I thought it really spoke to the qualities I like about myself. But now I kind of wonder if I'm kidding myself.

Asha and I kind of argued a bit. She wants us to go on a 7-day rafting trip that she has planned, and I don't really want to. She argued that I couldn't possibly know whether I'd like it if I've never done it before, and I argued that I've camped, and I've slept on the ground, and the only thing I haven't done is raft. I don't enjoy rough camping, having to haul a latrine with me and sleep on the ground. I really hate being cold at night. I get stiff and I hurt and I don't enjoy it. She used the word "dealbreaker" if we can't ever have vacations together doing things that I hate. I'm not thrilled that I have to feel emotionally blackmailed--do something I don't like, or lose my relationship. I do go camping with her, at campgrounds, in a tent where there are restroom facilities available, and I would probably do something I hated to make her happy for a few days, but seven days seems like pure hell to me. I argued that we don't have a lot of extra money to spend on things that make us unhappy; she said that it wasn't very expensive, all we would have to provide would be food for ourselves. I pointed out that *every* dollar we spend is a lot of money for us, and wasting $50 on food for a week during something I don't like is $50 spent on unhappiness, even if we had to eat anyway.

I don't know. I do a lot of things to make other people happy. I hate feeling like I can't just be myself and do things that *do* make me happy.

We "revealed" ourselves to a couple more friends this weekend, and they said they "had their suspicions". We were flabbergasted. We've been a quad for two years, and we haven't been overly secretive. These are friends we see all of the time, and they are good friends with other people who know about us. Weirdness.
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