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Old 02-27-2011, 12:07 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,367

hi mono.... thanks

Yes I know what your saying...your not getting in the spirit of the mental game.

Part of why I started this thread was an exploration of how our (wife /myself) dynamic will change if/when my focus is no longer on her. Because of circumstance of your dynamic is very relate-able. As I've plugged in different scenarios to imagine all the possible outcomes.....granted this is all imagination so I don't hold it up as fact but I do think you can get close. This isn't much different than creating a computer model and plugging in different players and scenarios....except as you know I'm not that good with computers so I have to do it in my head.

Right now or should I say up until recently my wife has enjoyed and wanted primary status for each other.... her words... most likely spoken as to give me comfort or something. So if in this dynamic that changes how will every thing else be effected. And I realize in this type of thing I'm only going to see the big glaring things and lots of little things are going to slip by.

I'm not sure if she really understands how this is going to change her world....or maybe she doesn't care and is looking for change. I'm looking farther down field I think. Blame it on NRE... great t-shirt idea... you guy could wear them at your poly events.... might be funny.

Bottom line I think I was asking because if being the poly member and enjoying the focus of the mono how would that relationship change and how would the dynamic change if other partners or relationships evolve from the mono making things completely poly.

One of my sticking points has been time and focus.... By RP's own description your time, focus, and attention is on her. I may have already wrote this but what she described is how a lot of us use to feel and live. She (RP) summarized what I had and how I felt. Out side the labels...human to human its the same.... and she really enjoys me too. And so does my wife.

I hope you can see my intention..... thanks D
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