This weekend Redpepper and me went to a BDSM event. I have always known that she and her husband and other Love have attended these but this was the first one since we met. I have never been to one and was very worried that it would be something that would hurt my connection with her. I was unclear about the sexual aspect of it and once again was wrong in my assumptions and imagination LOL! We had previously talked about how to make it safe and comfortable for me to attend. This was very important to Redpepper because, although this is a part of her life, she did not want to hurt our relationship by me getting “weirded out”.
We discussed in length the boundaries I needed to have in place and although her husband couldn’t attend, her and me went on short notice…she was very happy BTW! Her other Love was there as well as other poly friends of ours.
Redpepper was very clear with her other Love that she wasn’t able to play with him that night as I was taking baby steps LOL!! She was direct, clear and respectful. I was actually somewhat taken back by how black and white she applied the boundaries. The result was my own comfort was quickly established and we all had a great evening.
She played with me, and then I asked her if she wanted to play with her other Love and I spoke to him as well to reassure him I would be ok. He is very respectful of the commitment Redpepper and me have and is a very understanding friend. He was more than happy to be played with and Redpepper loved getting to because they have not seen each other for a long time. I still had certain boundaries about the level of sexual interaction I was ok with seeing and actually assisted her during the playtime a little. Next I asked her if she wanted me and her other Love to play with her and we all had a great night.
My point is, because she was so clear in applying the boundaries, I felt understood and respected. Because of this I became very comfortable fast. Now we are free to enjoy yet another aspect of her life.
I guess I just wanted to share this because it really affected me in a positive way.
On a side note…I wore a leash and collar, which Redpepper held all night, and had “Owned” written on my back….I love embracing my mono nature with her! I am all hers and proud and honored to be considered so important to her.