View Single Post
  #19  
Old 02-27-2011, 02:52 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,414
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bella123456 View Post

How many people are you dating ?

. . . I'm ok with casual sex, I'm ok with FWB...I can feel comfort and joy with a variety of relationship styles. But I'd like to be in a position where "development" can happen if the circumstances are right. If I spread myself too thin, I know I can't acheive that..
Bella, you hit the nail on the head! I feel the same way.


I'm not really dating that many on a regular basis yet, but there are more than a few "first dates" in the works, to be planned/scheduled. I said, "maybe next week?" to about six or seven guys. And I'm now going, "what was I thinking?" I mentioned in my first post of this thread that I completely forgot about one of them! That's why I said I need a spreadsheet!


What I've got going on right now (besides the upcoming dates mentioned above) are: a casual/FWB relationship with Shorty that started in early December and is now on hold for a little while (I am hoping we will resume sometime in March); a terrible crush on the friend that fixed me up with Shorty but is only platonic for now; and I most recently started dating Dreamy. He and I have only gone out a few times but we both do want to continue seeing each other -- still casually at this point.


My leap into poly, being a single, solo person in the midst of divorce, means that there's no established relationship yet developed into something steady, that I can return to as a secure "home base." Every dalliance or potential relationship I have is pretty new. I would've liked to have developed my relationship with Shorty into something more steady (we started out real hot and heavy, and it's very affectionate and caring) but that's not what he wants right now because he's very busy and travels a great deal. I guess it was about a month and a half that I was seeing only Shorty, before I started dating other guys, and then he had obligations that got in the way and I said let's go on a hiatus for a while while I dealt with other important stuff in my life (yes, I have to remind myself sometimes that dating and men are not always the most important thing, tee-hee).

So, rather than stay home every night, I've been going out, meeting people, and also lining up dates with guys I meet online. But it's gotten out of hand, and now I'm feeling overwhelmed. I guess I don't want to fall into monogamy again and so I'm trying to stay on my toes, so to speak, by seeking out new people.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-27-2011 at 03:52 AM.
Reply With Quote