Well, after the initial shock my wife has calmed down. She spoke with the other woman's husband and he explained his reasoning. She was upset at him because throughout all this, when we were going to leave our spouses he stuck by her. Now by changing his view, she felt like she had nobody to to stand by her.
She also spoke with the other woman. The great thing is the two of them get along VERY well. She seems to bring the best out in my wife. My wife as always had social issues and such, nothing major but my wife has made huge strides in life with her help. She has friends now, joins clubs,etc. Its just great. Anyway the other woman explained exactly how she felt about me and she wanted to be able to express the affection with something more than just words. She talked about quality alone time.
Well my wife understood her. I supposes the two of them share something very special. Their love for me. My wife said she would be open to listening and understanding. She said she may be ok with some kissing in the future but no idea when. The two of them told each other they loved each other and the call went really well. In fact, we had a major sex romp right after the call! She said having someone else "into" me turns her on!
So my wife has started reading about polyamory. Her main problem with it is when does it end? meaning, If A is married to B and they both have others (C&D) then (C&D) have others (E&F) and so on. To tell you the truth, I don't know how to reply to this. I could use some suggestions.
Here is the great part! After talking about this with her. We woke this morning and I asked her what she was thinking about. She said, "I am trying to figure out how I can be OK with you having a GF." which I thought was really loving of her. Then she also said.."So show me how you would kiss her."...and I did and she kind of giggled it off. She also asked about herself.
So things are better in the sense that I don't think my wife will force me to lose contact with the other woman. I think she is trying to digest and understand this and to tell you the truth, I am as well.
She also brought up "unconditional" love. she said "if you love me, you would move me to warmer weather" which I really don't to do. Didn't really know what to say other than I didn't and we could compromise. She agreed. I suppose she was using this as an example.
I guess I have a lot of thinking to do. Thanks for all your kind support. I have a feeling I will be around these parts very often.