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Old 02-26-2011, 07:42 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,683

The poly meeting I went to last night gave me some really good ideas on how to run the workshop. She had a mix of history of the topic, her story, common themes that come up for others and question and answer time. I think this was a really good way of creating my workshop... something like that anyway.

The topic was on asexuality and I found it very interesting... I wrote about it on another thread that can be easily found by doing a tag search for "asexual" but what interested me most in reference to myself were the fact that some people found it threatening. I found it interesting as I didn't at all and neither did Mono. It made me wonder if it was because she is not available for sex in the poly community.

I wondered how many men in the room were listening and watching this beautiful, intelligent, humorous woman and thinking DAMN! not willing to have sex with me.... ah well, forget it then. If this was so,,, then how many men look at me this way and pass me for friendship and more because I am not willing to have sex with them. Not only that, I'm not willing to have the kind of sex that they are interested in.... damn my bonded, connected relationship with sex! I wondered how much of a threat I am to them and why... why is any of it threatening?! Really, why is any of it of relevance anyway, yet it is.

Still musing and processing.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
There is really no answer, only movement forward with what you have until such time as its not working any more. That concept seems to settle with time. There isn't the same fearful, painful, achy, frustrating crazy making anguish, that you seem to be going through right now, forever. It comes and goes after a time.

I have become super aware of who comes in my life and how I feel about them where men are concerned. No one matches Mono in my eyes let alone is worth what he offers me. I don't know if that will continue, but for now I have just let it go and agreed to compromise... no rules, no boundaries.... just endless compromise. Most days I don't feel it.

....... Somehow change occurs when least we expect it... when it is forced it seldom seems to work out to everyone's benefit. The good news is that when you let it go the feeling is of much more happiness and gratitude for you DO have rather than for what you don't.... at least that is what I am experiencing.
I wrote this on a different thread and wanted to transfer it to here so as to remember it if I need to. It speaks to where I am at these days for those who are interested.

Dancing night with Derby tomorrow after we have dinner and some time just us... so looking forward to it. I have done hardly anything in the last weeks as far as socializing and going out is concerned... I took a much needed break.
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