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Old 02-25-2011, 09:53 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beodude123 View Post
Do you ever feel anger Mono? It's recently been added to my long list of emotions...
I don't get angry...But I certainly feel frustrated at times. I have surrendered to just letting our destiny unfold. I am committed to us always looking out for each other and being family; that I can count on and have no doubt about. What will our differing natures lead to for us as a couple is unknown.

I don't see any way for us both to be completely fulfilled with respect to what we need/want from an intimate partner. We don't share philosophies about love...I am very mono and live partially mono (I love only one and have a somewhat closed relationship which is desired by many mono people), she is very poly and lives partially poly (she has several partners and has a somewhat open relationship which is desired by many poly people). But we are healthy right now...and happy and in love.

We have built something that has already defied the odds. We've overcome a tonne of social and philosophical differences but we always come down to the two main questions; 1) Can she have a level of open relationship that does not deteriorate the one we have? 2) Can I have a level of closed relationship that does not deteriorate the one we have?

This entire thing is different than your situation in one major way...I am the "other man". Her husband is also poly and understands her philosophy and how it feels to love more than one intimate partner.

If I were put in your same situation...I wouldn't even be here...it simply would not work for me.


If you have even a small interest in exploring poly for yourself I suggest you follow that. I truly believe that that is the only way to find understanding and develop a stable level of comfort with a poly partner. I don't need that level of comfort nor do I expect it...do you? There is no sadness in admitting this to myself....there is only acceptance that for right now it is definitely worth it
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