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Old 02-24-2011, 02:40 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I think we generate undue pressure on ourselves when doing workshops because we expect to represent a "mono/poly success". I think a mono/poly success would be where everyone is fulfilled and there is no sense of sacrifice (sacrifice being much more noticeable and constant than compromise). That's not us..we sacrifice. So although we might not be a poly success, we have a lot of lessons learned to share and have an intimate knowledge of issues that can and will come up. We're sharing our experience...not a guide to success.
I guess I just want to be there and ready to facilitate with more confidence. Its months away however and I don't think I will be where I am today when I get to that point... not to mention the amount of processing that happens when actually putting a workshop together. TONS happens. I remember when I got the sexual boundaries art therapy workshop ready. It moved me to a different place. I feel very confident in that one and won't have any trouble facilitating that one now.

I agree with Mono and his quote above... I think that often in poly communities we expect that success equals happiness and comfort for all. I struggle sometimes with the fact that success does not equate that at all... success is irrelevant really. I am just willing to put together some thoughts for a workshop and present them.. along with some conversation and questions from others... really, I am not more or less successful than anyone else.

On my death bed I don't think I will be sitting there saying, wow, I was totally unsuccessful with Mono because we never figured out how to conduct a mono poly relationship. I will just remember the good times and likely will smile at the parts where we struggled...

thanks for the support everyone

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