When a relationship is in trouble (cheating and lying being an obvious symptom of that), the answer is not to "add people." Pursuing polyamory won't fix the hurt and disillusionment caused by betrayal and dishonesty. You two probably need to work on your marriage, get into therapy, and maybe even consider not being together, before you try to wave the flag of being polyamorous as a reason for having multiple lovers. Sohuman, yes, look at building your self-esteem, not using low self-esteem as an excuse for reckless behavior, while you also take responsibility for what you did.
BTW, polyamory isn't really a lifestyle. All sorts of people in all sorts of lifestyles can be polyamorous.
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
Last edited by nycindie; 02-23-2011 at 02:28 AM.