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Old 02-22-2011, 09:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I'm a curvy "thicker" woman (I currently weigh more than I would like, but even when I reach my goal and get back to a smaller size, I am still curvaceous and have never been petite). Anyway, I prefer stocky, thicker men. Long, skinny, and lanky doesn't usually appeal to me. I like muscular calves and strong arms. I always check out a guys' hands because I am turned off by long, skinny hands and fingers (is that weird?). [Well, I also check to see if his fingernails are clean and groomed - that's important!] But a large-ish belly doesn't bother me. I also don't usually find myself attracted to guys with little button noses and boyish faces -- I usually go for the craggy face, long nose, mature look, which for some reason I equate with being more masculine. But I am not drawn toward thin, long faces. However, that doesn't mean I haven't gotten all juicy for a clean-shaven, milky white baby face or a rather skinny, bony guy. I've had boyfriends of all shapes and sizes: tall, shorter than me, skinny, heavy, older, younger, bald, hairy, boyish, not-so-boyish -- I have my preferences but won't rule out anyone who figures out how to rev my engine! It's usually their eyes, intellect, and sense of humor that will reel me in!

And of course it's not wrong or shallow to have preferences. But judging someone solely on looks alone, or other ideas you have about them before getting to know them, can be shallow. But not always. Sometimes our gut instincts come into play and tell us to avoid someone for some unnameable reason, and we have to trust our intuition.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-23-2011 at 01:30 AM.
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