How to be a healthy, happy and long-lived unicorn?
Below my shopping list for successful couple hunting. It might still all go to hell but hey, no pain no gain.
1) Stay away from married couples with children, mortgages, in transition. They have already made a primary commitment to each other that is the one society recognizes. Should push come to shove, married couple always comes first. So you love their kid and they say you can never see them again? Tough luck, shoulda seen that one coming.
Also very young couples (lived together for less than 2 years), couples in a major crisis, be it rebounding after infidelity, moving in together, buying a house, getting married, getting pregnant, contemplating ending the relationship, are a risk. Proceed with caution or not at all.
2) Keep seeing other people for love, friendship and sex.
3) Be very cautious about offers to move in with them. What if you want to entertain friends or relatives there with a moment's notice? What if the three of you keep to very different hours? Would you be doing three people's laundry instead of your own? And how secure is your hold on the apartment anyway?
4) Invest in cultivating a relationship with both members of the couple separately. Go out on dates, take a room in a hotel, travel separately. Not everybody needs to be included in all conversations/activities/sex that takes place.
5) Why not go long-distance? The couple (especially if still somewhat closeted) can hold on to their couplish life and you get all the independence you crave.
Also, entirely off-topic: Facebook users, is it possible to be in a relationship with multiple users at the same time?
Me: bi female in my twenties