I think the worst part is that I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. Jen wants to have sex with J, but that was a boundary that we had agreed upon as being set. But she has been asking about it. I've been feeling a lot of anger to the whole situation, for whatever reason, but the fact is, I'm not entirely comfortable with the situation. In one hand, I want to make her happy, above all else, but at the same time, I have to balance my emotional needs with everything else.
So, can I say no in good conscience? No, I cannot. But at the same time, every fiber of my being wants to struggle against the whole thing. But Jen wants it, so how can I say no? Either way, I'm going to have to struggle with everything that comes after. If I fight it, I'll have the battle for acceptance, so why even bother? It's easier to just let it happen, no matter how I feel about it. The end effect is the same, right?