Poly isn't really "designed" to be any particular way.
I disagree with the notion that it's a bad idea to start two relationships at once, or very close to each new beginning. I must disagree because that's where I find myself now. After being separated from my husband, I started dating while the divorce is being finalized. I have no interest in finding "The One" and embraced polyamory. I can't say I'm really living a poly lifestyle yet, but it's what I aspire to, and I'm hoping that multiple loving relationships will come out of my dating life. I have been told that I am actually rather lucky to be at this point because it can be much more difficult to introduce a new love to an established relationship. If multiple relationships all start pretty much around the same time, it's easier to establish ground rules (so to speak), to make sure it's a level playing field, and everyone knows going in what to expect. That's how I see it anyway.
It seems the problems you guys were having had a lot to do with your GF's other guy being anti-poly, and your insecurities which come from having an attachment to things needing to go a certain way. Now you know what to be on the alert for if you want to pursue poly again.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 02-21-2011 at 02:02 AM.