Originally Posted by redpepper
......... They may love her, but at some point it seems to be just a fantasy. It seems that most of the time they have a naive view that the woman will do as she is told and she has the naive view that the couple will not struggle with the pulling apart that seems to happen for them. At some point it isn't the couple and their unicorn any more. It's three people loving each other. That is a huge and painful process for most couples no?
"Just a fantasy " ????? Why do you say that ?
I think this is typical of the stereotypes that have developed over the years. Has this type of thing happened ? You bet !
Should it have happened ? Absolutely not.
We all likely have had "utopian" fantasies on a variety of levels but it wasn't always the concept that was a failure as much as it was the execution.
What's the difference/solution ?
Like the one we are all involved with who participate here.
A triad or other number absolutely has all the POTENTIAL for a much more stable, fulfilling life. But like so many other things with potential, if you don't do it right it can blow up on you - despite all the potential and best intentions. And if you have no idea what's really involved going in, any success has more to do with luck than the right/wrongness of it. And until the last few years, there's been very little in the way of education and communication available for people who want to try.
So this CAN change. But NOT if everyone continues to spout the same old stereotypes born of the horror shows of ignorance. I can't count the number of individuals that still BELIEVE these stereotypes and consequently cut themselves off from something that would actually offer them much of what they are crying out for but can't find via the mono worldview.
So we go forward with the response that it IS possible, and it CAN be beautiful, but you have new skills to master. Get to it !