Well, dinner did not happen. What DID happen was that my wife decided that she is NOT open to having a poly relationship and that, if I were to pursue one, she would have to leave my life. I'm not surprised that this was her response, considering what I know about her and the screwed up way I introduced the "other woman". I am disappointed that we won't be able to take this opportunity to explore love and relationship in a new, expansive way. But, again, I realize that my wife is probably not someone who will EVER be open to something like this and I am...we were just raised really differently and got really different messages about love and belonging. So, I appreciate all the support and encouragement from you august ladies and gentlemen, but I will probably just be lurking on your forum and living vicariously through your posts for a long while LOL.
Now my issue is this: my wife threw down the gauntlet and says I have to let the other woman go. I can do that, but not gracefully or easily. My wife's feelings are my primary concern and I've always been willing to do my best to meet her needs, but how do you let go of someone that you truly are in love with? Its such a tragic irony: having the other woman in my life will destroy my marriage, not having her in my life may destroy me.
WTF?! How did this even happen? How does one fall in love with a second person? I mean, how do people stop themselves from falling in love with other people besides their primary? Do people choose who they love or is it that I made the mistake of feeding the emotion?