Originally Posted by redpepper
BDSM and Poly... this is very prevalent I am finding, but different than the community I am in it seems. Well, there is definitely some kinkiness and I see similar people at the local SM events, but it just seems to be a side line. For me I started the same way. They sort of started hand in hand.
I'd love to know how this has come about in your life and if Poly is just a side line or a part of it?
Anything really you have to say on the topic I would be glad to hear.
Oh yes many people are both kinky and poly. On the inside I have been a little of both for a long time, but I tried to suppress it. As far as which part is more primary in my life, that's hard to say. I guess they take turns. The short answer is that they are mostly separate parts of my life that overlap slightly.
It started with me exploring bdsm by going to munches/workshops/play parties and just figuring out what I was into. The whole time I did that, I was very much aware that I wanted to try multiple partners in the future but I stayed focused on the kink. So at first being poly was kind of on the side lines, but as soon as I became accustomed to my new lifestyle I started to explore open relationships. It helps that all of my play partners were already poly (or at least said they were. Long story I'll vent about later).
It was mostly about the physical aspect though and very little "love" most of the time, so I started looking for a special connection and suddenly kink went onto the sidelines. Now about 3 weeks ago I was at my local goth/fetish club (I'm there every saturday. It's my home away from home.) and met this lovely lady who told me that her husband of 10 years is there but they are in an open relationship. I thought we had a great connection and I was inspired when I heard that people can do this successfully as a long term lifestyle.
BDSM and Polyamory do go together quite easily for me but not necessarily. Like cheese and crackers. You can have either one by itself, but they really compliment each other so why not