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Old 02-18-2011, 11:46 AM
May May is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 14

Oh, I know so well what you're talking about. I am also a rather calm type and addicted to harmony somehow I can't sleep when there's some conflict between me and one of my spice, so I would instantly talk about it, because if I wouldn't it would grow and make me more angry than the matter is usually worth it and I know it would become more and more difficult for me to address the issue. My spice, on the other hand, can spend days being angry at each other and this can drive me mad. I never take sides when they have conflicts (even if I think one of them has a point - usually their arguments are rather pointless to me though), because I don't want one of them to think there're two against him/her. But when there's this tension between them I feel it as well, of course. Then it's often hard for me to just stay cool. I know I don't need to act like everything is okay, but sometimes it really annoys me that I am affected so much by THEIR problems. Also I would often be the one left to care for the children, because he would eventually go sulking in a different room and she'd be so outraged about that that I don't dare to make it worse by not being constantly there to help her.

It's not always that bad, though and maybe sometimes it's good for them to have a voice of reason in the ear as well, because sometimes they (separately) come to me to complain about one another. Then mostly I just listen, but if I give a statement I always try to take a neutral point of view and show them reasons there might be for the way the other one acts. I don't know if it helps, but it's all I can do and all I WANT to do. I know I can't be the one solving their problems. And I don't want to make them MY problems as well.
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - J. W. Lennon
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