Since our whole adventure started I've felt at home with the poly thing. It feels natural and a part of me. In my intro I said that I don't feel like my hubby is lacking anywhere.. I think he's perfect! What I don't really get and what I can't explain is that J brings something different to my life, it makes my happy.. happier I guess? Yet I don't feel like I'm missing anything from hubby. He doesn't get that. Heck, I'm not sure I really get it. He feels this sense of inadequacy, even though I tell him over and over again that he does everything for me that I could imagine.. what J brings, he just can't because it's different.
I think that's part of what has made this whole transition so difficult for him, and the natural jealousy thing of course. He sees me on a day to day basis, and I'm happy, but I do have my usual stresses. Business, kids, house...he helps so much with all he can, and I appreciate that, but I still stress about a lot of it. Especially lately as I've been really busy.
Since J isn't really involved in that part of our lives, when I see him, it's like an escape from that stress. I should also mention that it's not hubby that stresses me out at all.. he is my rock in all of this. I hate to see him hurting though. I feel guilty because he's going through these tough feelings. I feel like I'm being selfish and putting myself first. He doesn't like making me feel guilty so he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. I guess it sucks because we both care so much about each other, and we both want to fulfill each others needs, but there is one I have that he can't possibly fill, and it's not his fault, it's just the difference between him and I. He doesn't understand it no matter how many different ways I try and explain it.
How does one explain poly to a mono minded person?