Originally Posted by maca
When I say to her " I did not say X, what I said was Y" I must have put a defensive tone in my words. Because it dosnt turn out well.
I think my husband will be relieved to hear that he is not alone in this. I also use literal meanings, while my husband makes up meanings. We had what looks like this exact same issue. He would say X and I would repeat it back word for word, then he would come back with was "what I SAID was Y", instead of "what I MENT was Y". Since he used said I now fixated on what was actually said... Big arguement everytime.
We finally had a breakthru when somehow during an arguement I told him that by using said instead of ment I felt like he was calling me a liar, when I repeated back his exact words. This was not his intention, now this lead to a 1/2 hour arguement on the definition of "said", looking it up in the dictionary, etc.
With a little nudge from our therapist, we have not had the same issue since, that was 3 months ago.
I trust easily, and I am still struggling with not wanting to check every e-mail or text, etc.
Take care of your arm.