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Old 02-17-2011, 01:00 PM
riftara riftara is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: GA / TX
Posts: 188
Default The Here and Now

I have lately been devouring Poly books, these boards, and processing a lot.

Is it because of my unmedicated state? I am Bi-Polar and have been without meds for two weeks now. Its a rocky place to be I know. Am I processing this to avoid processing other things? Or is this what I need to be processing?

Is it because of the emanate changes? R and his GF possibly splitting, John and D possibly falling in love.

Is it due to John and I's recent discussions and renewal of intimacy, he has been physically gone from me for a year and a half.

I have also been sleeping less and fretting over the coven and the general future.

I told a friend today about my high school boyfriend's abuse. Not in the general terms I normally do, but specifically. I realized I don't think I've ever done that for John. I know I haven't for any other lover, especially not R. Is it time for me to face that abuse and get past it fully?

I feel like this is a time of growth, even though I am depressed. I want someone to talk this over with, but John is unavailable to me at this moment. All I have is myself, R, and a few close friends. I think it is time I spoke with my high priest about all this.
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband

M - John's girlfriend
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