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Old 02-17-2011, 12:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by vodkafan View Post
For instance last Sunday evening our boiler broke down and we had no hot water for the children's baths. A quick phone call and then we put the three youngest ones in the car and my wife bathed them all (and had a shower herself) at D's flat and then I picked the kids up in their pyjamas, which they thought was a great adventure. The next day to say thanks I cooked him a dinner and my wife left it in his flat with a note for when he came home from work.
It's just about trust and talking.
My wife absolutely loves the fact she has the support and resources of two men. We think we have the best wife out there.
In our house we call this "extended consideration." Mono has talked on this topic before. It is what I mean by empathy and compassion when I talk of foundations... making choices for the greater good of all. Yes, it is about trust, talking, flexibility, support, resources also... whatever you want to call it... but it really is thee most essential part of making long term poly arrangements work...

Its taking the self out of situations knowing that in the long run that is returned and given back to you. When I give to my partners it is returned to me in so many ways that I don't even know about yet. It's a surprise a lot of the time... it also means I feel confident in my requests of them too. Also important. Its the back bone to a poly family as far as I am concerned. It's a mini community that is truly a team in the most purist way.

This makes me happy and more grateful about my own life and family. Thanks Vodkafan for sharing the details. I don't know if my men see me as the best wife ever, but whatever, they are the best husbands ever... I'm sure your wife and I would have to fight that one out!
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