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Old 02-16-2011, 08:38 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by River View Post
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Can I be my own person while I am resisting being just like my mother?
ooooh! I really like this example! It is something I've been really examining in my life -- re-action in the place of authentic action. I can't really be authentic when I'm just reacting to something. That's the thought-/-experience I'm probing, anyway. Reactions are a sort of moving away from something, whereas authentic action / activity / self-expression ... is always moving from one's true (authentic) self, which is free of the whole push / pull dynamic rooted in lack, conditioned fear, etc. We know one from the other because one moves from a core of joy and peace and the other feels yucky. Something like that, anyway.
Yes, let's say you make a fist and it represents the thing you are resisting. Then you push against it with your other hand, which represents you. Notice how the fingers of the pushing hand start wrapping around the fist. It takes on the same shape. Pull them apart and your pushing hand (you) is now in the same form as that fist, but just in opposition to it. It's like a mirror image.

So, in resisting and reacting, we find ourselves making decisions (root of that word = cide, which means to cut off, or kill) out of a compulsion to be "not that" -- instead of making a choice (this word's original meanings were to taste or to enjoy) out of a truly authentic desire or what we want for ourselves.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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