I had a dream about Beth last night. I dreamt that she came by, and wanted me to sign a contract that I'd never contact her again, except I was allowed to write in exceptions for when she could contact me... In my dream, Beth kept trying to pretend that everything was going great and she was happy, but she had that pasted-on smile people have when they're just short of panicking. She went back and forth between being really distant and trying to hurry things up so she could leave, and then flirting with me and inferring that she might not be with Caleb much longer. I even dreamt that she kissed me (something that never happened in real life).
When I woke up, I just felt incredibly sad. I still miss Beth, even though I'm not sure the three of us could ever work out. I really hope she does find real happiness in her life. I'd hate to have the desperate Beth in my dream be the reality.
In other news... In general I'm doing pretty well; I'm finally starting to eat right, get sleep, and exercise again, so my productivity is going up and I'm feeling better about myself in general. I'm continuing to make progress in building a social community for myself. I asked a classmate that I thought seemed interesting out to lunch this week, and it went well enough that we're making it a weekly thing. I've made a goal for myself: I want to have someone to meet every day of the week for lunch by the end of the semester (and not just some random person, but someone I like that I would like to get to know better). I have three out of five already, and there's another classmate that I might ask about meeting with in the near future... They're all just friends (not a dating sort of thing), but I think it's doing me a lot of good to have people I can just enjoy social time with.
Mal had a tough time the last couple of weeks - nearly broke down with depression twice in the last week - and he's made the choice to get some help. He has an appointment with a psychiatric nurse to see if he can get some medication for depression, and he has another appointment with a doctor to try to get some pain relief (he has an arthritis-like issue in his knees and shoulders that is keeping him in constant pain and making it impossible to exercise). I have hope that things are going to get a bit better for him.
Keira Raven, married to husband Mal, interested in a woman for a triad or vee
(Previously known as Dakota Raven, husband previously known as Adam)