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Old 02-16-2011, 06:56 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
How do we rebuild trust in this case?
Certainly not by those people trying to avoid spending time together. That would indicate a lack of control or inability to maintain boundaries. This would only serve to create less trust and more concern.
If this is her choice, don't knock it yet. She may just need some time and space to step back and re-build trust in herself.

When trying to lose weight, I need to stay away from certain foods, because they are my weekness. Therefore I will avoid certain places until I have developed a trust in myself and some new habits. I will also enlist the help of others around me to help me maintain control when I know I will be going into a situation where things may be just too tempting. Usually just knowing that I have backup does the trick.

I think trust can only be rebuilt by revisiting those similar circumstances of spending time together without crossing boundaries.
I agree with this, but it may take time before the person is ready or strong enough to even be willing to face the situation again. Unfortunately it will also mean that your trust can't be completely restored until it can be tried and tested.

My problem is that I trust too easily. I take people at their word and give them the benefit of the doubt. This has bit me in the ass quite a few time recently. For me personally, I expect people to make mistakes, but I completely loose trust if it is hidden/kept secret from me. I can forgive loss of control, but not intentional deception.
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