Okay I'm new to the forum so I don't want to offend. Having been on the other side of what you're saying, I can tell you I've seen this, lived through it, and have somehow managed to come out the other side.
I know it feels like she's the chocolate, but if she truly cares about you, and it sounds like she does, she is not feeling any better about it then you are.
Yes they probably seem like they are in the honeymoon stage, but believe me when I tell you it's not feeling like that to her. It isn't a honeymoon if someone you care so much about is hurting.
When we went through this I talked to both partners. I was the "new" trying to help in anyway I could. What I heard from "M" was " It doesn't feel like he wants me anymore, and after having tried so many times, I'm not going to try again." "D" was saying, " It feels like a competition. If I'm with you, then I have to be with her. Can't I just not feel like it?"
Everyone was confused, including myself. The long and the short of it was it's new. Everyone is trying to find their place. What has always been the way he was, doesn't mean he's that way now. A new relationship means new dynamics. It's a learning curve, and we don't always do it the right way.
Having been on the other side, I understand the longstanding relatonship that existed before I was a part of it. I also understand the newness of a new love. Communication is still the most important part of your relationship.
It might be that your male partner just needs to work it out in his own head. Sometimes it's easy for someone who has been with another for a long period of time to believe we know what they are thinking or how they will react. But put a new person in the mix, and everything you thought you knew or believed, goes out the window.
Give it time, and believe in yourself. As hard as it might be to believe. Sometimes it's not about what's going on in our heads. It's about what's going on in theirs.