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Old 02-15-2011, 06:29 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,294

While lying in the exam room I really felt quite alone and decided to make some small changes that might have a large symbolic statement. Listening to the stories of the doctor's and other staff made me feel lucky and reflective of what could have happened. What if I killed myself? What if(s).....for good 20 min. Here where the professional help comes in. I changed my very large life insurance policies which were put in place because of my business and its exposure into my kids names. I have taken out an additional policy on myself with my wife as beneficiary (50 grand) more than enough, average funeral about 8. I think its only fair I be removed from her policy if I already haven't. Also willing To put similar smaller policy in place for funeral expenses. I think you meant professional help in an other sense....right?

The question of the Vegas trip. I don't know. Didn't ask. I found out in the ER after asking/telling her to get rolling up here because of the time and distance it would take. If we waited for all the tests and results and then make a decision we would have to worry about the hill closing and how the kids would get back to our cabin, etc, etc... Oldest kid 13.. The phone conversation was more short than hostile.... I said "well then that's not going to work don't talk to the kid I'll call you back" , then I hung up. Second though I think my first words were "What" ....then the other stuff....

Before the trip when she hinted that she may not go it was to see if anyone would put up resistance, so she offered the kids take friends. My take is if the kid would have put up a fuss she would have gone....but I've been wrong before.

I'm not sure how I feel as to if it was rotten or not. At the time I felt bad for the kids I guess, knowing that she was making a choice to not be part of family outing. I'm talking pre-trip. And knowing they (kids) very soon wont want to go as a family. I just thought we need to capitalize on these years. To be fair we went skiing as a family over the Christmas break and the kids really didn't say anything about missing mom until my trip to the ER. I most likely let them get away with a lot more anyway so no one suffered. If I had know about the Vegas trip in advance I just would have done pretty much the same thing. Thinking back I never called her or even thought to.
She called every 10mins or so for the next half an hour....none which I pick up because I was on making arrangements for our extraction. When I did finally answer her call I told her to stay lost for several more hours and think up what she was going to tell everyone.... better be good. Let me know the story.

The fallout is coming from many sources for my wife. I called a good friend and neighbor who is also a doctor to rescue my battered ass. The good thing for me he could talk with ER staff and then tell me how they think as an institution. Boil it down to medical facts not legal exposure. The bad thing was all the questions.... Wheres the wife?.... his wife is my wife's good friend more questions from another person. They went to my house rang the bell and pounded on the door. The parents of the other kids got involved...two of daughters friends and one of my sons.

She has stated she is going through selfish phase or stage. I asked when did she think it started and when did she predict it would be over? She mentioned this is not much different than a few years ago when I spent nights and weekends on all the different projects I had running all at once. Fair point from a time stand point. But this is not work verses play argument. This is a family play vs. personal play

Wifes background: each of her parents were married 3+ times. Her mom had additional relationships as well. It is my opinion that my wife is trying desperately to fill in some sort of love hole that most likely can't be filled externally. She has told me repeatedly over the years how I could never understand...maybe she seeks understanding. Maybe love hole is the wrong phrasing for all you perverts. It really hurts when I laugh....but you get the idea.

mono made the comment that moving form a primary role to a secondary status may devalue the relationship. I think its more of a redistribution of value, or equity.

Last point.... Some people can't learn without loss. They don't truly know what they had/have until its gone. They don't know they've gone too far until they've gone way way too far. Sorry for the length D
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