Geeze does this thread hit home. This is the single biggest issue in our relationship right now.
Basically, Violet monopolizes the unholy hell out of my time, and feels justified in doing so, and the other 2 get the table scraps. And whenever I try to work things differently, there's hell to pay. And GOD FORBID anyone tell Violet that she's doing so; THAT'S a can of worms NOBODY wants to open anymore.
Basically, Lana respects my time with Violet to a degree that's unhealthy for her and is alternately tolerant and respectful of my time with Adrian. Adrian is still pissed and has a chip on her shoulder 6 months later about my time with Violet, but usually repects it, and is alternately tolerant and angry about my time with Lana.
And Violet is alternately resentful of y time with either of them or totally benevolent - "hey baby? [Adrian/Lana] really seems to need you right now. Why don't I go [insert something here] while you take a few hours to take care of her". And then uses that as ammunition the next time one of them voices an issue with her getting every night and half the days with me.