Originally Posted by Fidelia
I deal with these situations by not creating them. I have never made any big "coming out" announcements. Nor do I make any effort to conceal my polyamory. I simply live my life, and do my best to walk my own authentic path.
When someone asks me a question about my personal romantic life, I decide whether to answer it using the same criteria as if they had asked any other very personal question. (i.e. What do you weigh? Why don't you have children? Who did you vote for?) If I think the motivation behind the question is harmless, I answer it simply and directly, and am prepared to have a frank and open discussion about it. If I think the asker is less benignly motivated (by say, nosiness or malice) I deflect the question using Miss Manners' techniques. (Simply responding "Why do you ask?" is enough flummox many or most nosy nellies, especially when delivered with just the right lift of the eyebrows. Pressed further, I might say something along the lines of "I don't discuss such personal topics with just anyone.")
But I don't generally make my romantic life a topic of conversation.
Good ideas! I'm trying to come to terms with not being out at my job. Although it's not exactly the best place to start talking about my sex/love life, I've worked there for over a decade and spend most of my time with these people. My co-workers know about boyfriend#1, but not about his other gf or about boyfriend #2. I hide a big part of my life partly by omission and partly out of fear that I'll be judged or people will pry cruelly into my private life with pushy questions and shocked expressions. If that does happen to go down, I plan on using your suggestions to stave them off. Thanks