Wow, I am glad you got thru some hard shit and then experienced a more fulfilling sexy time as a result. I hope this next period of being more open and assertive about your needs keeps getting you more and more of what you want romantically.
That book I referred to goes a lot into yin yang/male female energy and focuses a lot on how many women with high yin energy need lots of "build time" to feel comfortable and relaxed enough to really let go sexually. I definitely went thru that in my 40s, with my ex. He never really made me feel fully accepted in my sexuality, needs, drives til then.
Now with my gf, we talk so openly and honestly, til it hurts and til we get past it. The sex just keeps getting better and better as a result.
Again, I am getting on this board that too many long term couples can make the mistake of letting the newer NRE relationship be too much of the focus, and take AWAY from the primary one, instead of making sure it enhances and strengthens it.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)