Rarechild, your posts make me smile
you have such a kind soul. Your words have really touched me.
Really though, I'm so thankful for all of you who cared to read this mess and offer advice.
I think we have a little bit of work to do on uncovering those layers, but that work will have to wait for now. At the moment, he's going through the worst pain he's ever felt, a pain I can't even begin to imagine. He was expecting a child with a girl he'd been hooking up with a couple months ago (geez, this whole thing sounds more like a soap opera every time I talk about it). Although he didn't feel like he was ready to be a father, and had no desire for a relationship with this woman beyond sleeping with her, he loved his unborn baby girl more than he'd ever loved anything. Well the mother called him on Tuesday night and told him the baby had died the previous Tuesday (a whole week before she called him) He is devastated. I've never seen him in so much anguish. I am just beside myself with grief for him and what he's going through. I am also quite furious with the mother...I said from the very beginning that I believed she was faking the pregnancy (and that it would end with her "losing the baby") to get him to have the relationship with her that she wanted and he made very clear he did not. (yes, I know. he shouldn't have been sleeping with her then. I told
him that when he was doing it, but he didn't listen.) This is beside the point though. The point is, whether the baby was real or not, HE
believed it was, so the pain is very real. The hardest part for me, and for our girlfriend, is that neither of us can do anything to help him. He's withdrawing himself from us. He's asked us both for space and not to contact him for a little while. It absolutely breaks my heart, hers too. She and I are really just clinging to each other to get through this situation. All I can do is hope and pray that he will experience the healing he needs and that when he comes back from this dark place, he'll come back to us.
Once again, thank you all for your words of encouragement! I will keep you updated.