Haha, thanks vodkafan, what a treat to hear.
You're probably completely right. She, however, has no interest in reaching for a friendship. I'm starting to think she's staunchly pretending this isn't real, wants to know little to nothing about me to enforce that. The deal is she "doesn't like to ask questions, the answers to which she'll find painful," according to Fella. Not exactly freedom of information here, more "Don't ask, don't tell" instead. Seems less than above board to me, but what do I know?
If it's that bad for her, don't they need to work that out? I know I shouldn't push into their dynamic, but I am affected by her comfort. And I don't like it when he's sad by extension, makes my stomach do gymnastic things.
Additionally, my mother has declared, "If you do something to mess up my working relationship with [ML's mom] I will not take your side! I will socially abandon you; I need that woman's documents." They work at the same place and ML's mom could cause my mother some serious inconvenience if she cared to. Not that she would, but she could. So I don't want to insist on hashing it out with ML, in case ML talks to her mother about being uncomfortable and my mother belatedly takes up child abuse. Gah, small effing town.