The Eternal Search - San Diego is a Deadzone
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, but we've been together for 15 and poly the entire time. We've had long term relationships (the longest was 3 years), short terms, and the occasional ONS. We have a "friend with benefits" that doesn't want to be in a committed triad, and we get to play with our ex-girlfriend when she comes to visit from Idaho (that's why we broke up - we live in San Diego County and she moved).
We've been looking for a woman to join us in an established triad, but it's been particularly difficult, for some reason, in our area. We've tried Meet-Ups, bar-hopping, Craig's List, etc. but nothing long-term ever seems to pan out.
We've talked to poly friends around the country (including our ex), and all of them have said that there are plenty of poly folks around them. For some unexplained reason though, San Diego County seems to have an odd dearth of truly poly folks.
We know how to establish triads. We know how things work, we know how to establish and work around schedules, we take things slow or fast as needed, etc. We just can't find anyone that's interested in anything other than an ONS. This will be a strange thing to say (especially for a male with a massive libido), but we're getting tired of just sex. We want a woman to care about.
Does anyone have any theories on why San Diego County is so Poly-Sparse?